 |
A long time ago, long before we had children, Mark and I were out having lunch some where. Can't remember where now. What I do remember is the family that was sitting on the next table. First there was a couple and gradually they were joined by their children. Two had come to join them from university, one was there with a husband and another seemed to be still at home. I know all this because I'm nosey and listened in. What struck me was the joy with which they greeted each other and the happy hubbub of chatter that went on throughout the meal. I knew at that moment that if ever I had children I would want my future family to be like that one.
Early on in our parenting days Mark and I decided that we would eat with our children every night. It is always at the table, normally with music on in the background and a chance to talk. Everyone is expected to be there and to contribute. Some of our best family moments have been enacted around the table. It is here that we learn to listen to each other and to respect every speaker, whatever their age. We find out what we think and feel and to cope with differences of opinions. It isn't always peaceful and sometimes manners are forgotten, but it is always interesting and watching your children grow in confidence and learning to express their ideas is a joy indeed.
Tomorrow we will go out for a meal to celebrate Myles' birthday. Erin is coming home from uni for an evening to join us. We will eat, talk and laugh and I realise that what I longed for all those years ago is mine.
Photo is on my pinterest board 'dine' but comes originally from here. It is mu current favourite in my quest for the perfect dining space. I am obsessed with tables!
Ah, how wonderful to realise that you have made your dreams a reality! Your family sound like a joy Karen. I am still in the little kid phase of regularly feeling frustrated with their irrationality - though of course that is counterbalanced by the snuggles and laughs that spending all day with little ones brings. Although watching them change and grow away from me is painful, I am starting to get the odd glimpse of how lovely it will be to see them all grown up and independent. I hope you have a wonderful meal. Rachel xxx
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Karen, a mealtime together is so important, and often it's the only time of day everyone is together, so a perfect opportunity to chat, laugh and discover each others days. Our boys are 3 and 4 and I feel very lucky that we can all sit together and do this at 5pm every day. Although its often marred but one or others dislike for that particular dish of the day (when do children stop being fussy?) for me it's the very best bit of the day. Have a lovely time tomorrow at yours. X
ReplyDeleteI love this post Karen and I share in that ambition with you, that you have realised with your lovely family. My two are but 5 and 2 respectively but we also eat together most night round the table or the breakfast bar and try to talk together about everyones day. It doesn't always work out but it will I know. I really look forward to reading your posts in this series, Jo xx
ReplyDeleteKaren, your parenting posts are inspirational. I had not given any thought to raising adults (as opposed to kids) until I read you blog. I too want what you wanted, and what you have. It's a credit to you and Mark and says a lot about the kind of people you are.
ReplyDeleteWe don't eat with the kids usually - they eat at 5, John gets in after 6, they go to bed at 7...but I'm wondering if we should now.
Gillian x
This is a beautiful post. It sounds like you've done a wonderful job of raising two lovely adults. Have a wonderful time tomorrow. Claire x
ReplyDeleteI can completely identify with you there - we try and do exactly the same each evening and, even though we're now down to three, when I'm flagging and just want to slouch on the sofa with a tray Anna is always the one who makes sure we have that table time. Really great to hear from you - let us know if there are any vintage fairs on around Easter - we WILL come down! x
ReplyDeleteI thought this was a lovely post and so like our own attitudes to raising children. Even though our two girls have flown the nest when we do get back together as a family it is always around our kitchen table catching up on our news and views as we always did in the past and like they have never been away. In my opinion tables were made to gather round not TV sets.
ReplyDeleteYes! We, too, have always had dinner together as a family every night. Even on those nights when schedules are a bit wonky and we have to eat at some weird times, we've made it happen. It is important for family unity, and it is important in raising adults who can carry on a conversation.
ReplyDeleteI refer to your blog as "the lovely corner". Family suppertime is so important. I couldn't agree with you more!
ReplyDeleteI too cannot help but listen to anyone in my range! As for eating together it is definitely a wish I have for my family but unfortunately my husband gets in far too late for littles to wait. However, they will grow older and it might be plausable and there is always the weekends!
ReplyDeleteI have this too. Recently we arranged to meet the older three children for lunch in a local pub. Younger son wasn't with us, older son came alone as his partner was working and she couldn't get away, one daughter arrived with her boyfriend, the other daughter came ahead of her fella, she fresh from the gym, he from a football practice, and as each arrived and the group around the table grew so did the laughter and the love. Isn't it just the most wonderful reward for all the collicky nights and teenage tantrums :D
ReplyDeleteWonderful post Karen!
Ah good for you, that's a lovely story and great that it has come full circle and now you can be the family that inspire others. You give me hope - mealtimes are noisy and round a big table in our home but it is often more chaotic than conversational it has to be said!
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. My parents brought us up like this and I have very fond memories of us all sitting together at the big dining tables chatting. But what I remember most is the laughter. We would joke and tease each other and my mother always made dinner a really relaxing fun time. We are still like this when we get together which unfortunately is rare now.
ReplyDeleteMy hubbie on the other hand was brought up in a very big family and it was eat fast and get off the table so that somebody else could sit down!! What fun they missed.
Rosie xx
Hi Karen,
ReplyDeleteI'm not very good at commenting but I read all your posts. You fill me with hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel and that perseverance, love and encouragement will produce beautiful people. We eat together every night, do lots together as a family but with 5 from 14-4 it's not always fun (or pretty! I'm so grateful for mothers of older kids, like yourself, who share how wonderful the results of investing in your kids can be.
I also loved that it could have been my family you described in the cafe! We often meet up in far-flung places, sadly last time we were all together was at Heathrow as we were leaving the UK to come here 4 years ago.
Thanks for sharing your gorgeous family with us,
Sandra x