I am feeling a bit quiet.
This week both Erin and Myles went off to uni and suddenly the house is neat and empty and way too full of quiet. They are flying and I couldn't be happier, and yet and yet.
It is the thing about being a parent. You get this tiny scrap of a baby, so delicate and needy and you pour every drop of love you have and dream of the adult you are going to make. Sometimes when they are young and defiant they make those tiny breaks away from you; at two, at five, at any age and you know that one day they will go but it still feels like you will have all the time in the world. Secondary school looms and time speeds up and they hurtle towards adulthood. Oh those glorious, terrible, loud, beautiful and poignant teenage years! How I have loved them.
They haven't gone, not really and my nest certainly isn't empty but it is emptying and this fact is making me pause. Not sad, not wanting to turn the clock back but quiet. Oh and eating cake.